This is definitely one of my most favorite times of the year.
The week before Christmas and New Years.
I’m not doing shit.
The hustle and chaos are disrupted. There is zero pressure to oblige to any social engagement.
I’ve spent 36 Christmases in the lifetime so far. My 36th Christmas was spent single, childless, and away from family in NYC.
There’s been at least 5 of the Christmases or end of year holiday working in the service industry. Rather, I’m not obligated to work if I don’t want to. I have PTO to take some time as well.
I have tv shows to watch, and films.
The highest kind of pressure I feel in this moment is to watch as many of the films released this year which are getting buzz for the upcoming awards season.
Social media- it doesn’t hurt me anymore. In fact, the most scrolling I’m doing on line is updating and reading reviews on Letterboxd.
Do I have everything figured out? Absolutely not. I spent majority of the time from Thanksgiving to Christmas with 2 jobs, Christmas singing gigs and caroling, dancing, and extra shifts because I was trying to save enough to visit my parents in the Philippines.
I ran myself sick. I caught a month ago and have had this lingering cough since, which led to further health and digestion complications. It was beyond stressful and what’s wild is that I was back in the mindset of working hard to give myself the best Christmas I thought I deserved. I agreed to and said yes to jobs and gigs and sacrificed once again my sleep, rest, and time to do basic things like take my medication on schedule, or laundry. I wanted to make it to the Philippines. After an honest conversation with my sister we agreed to push our Philippines trip back to March next year. We didn't think it would be beneficial to try to spend the holidays stressing to just barely make a trip. After discussing with my parents that March would give us more time to save, and the fact that planning for a trip to the Philippines in March months ahead was significantly cheaper than traveling for the holidays, I felt a huge relief.
Shortly after that however, I was reminded of the fact that I would now be spending yet another Christmas alone, single, without my family, in New York City.
The faint yet piercing whisper of seasonal depression sang in my ears.
However, I think this little Christmas in the city is win for me. Less Kevin McCallister-y, more “Bell, Book, and Candle”. “Bell, Book, and Candle” by the way, is about a beautiful, single witch played by Kim Novak living in the West Village of New York City, and she falls in love with Jimmy Stewart around Christmastime. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.
Because I was in the mindset of now relaxing and enjoying the city, prioritizing rest, my peace, and my health, I was able to be intentional about how I spend these last few weeks of the year. It was freeing, exciting, and sexy.
Hi-lights included hosting a small Christmas dinner at my house with filipino food, games, and good friends. with the money I saved not flying I was able to treat those around me with small gifts, but also gift wrapped presents for me, and laid them out under my Christmas tree. I Christmas carol’d, and watched christmas/winter movies everyday. I had an apartment to myself and danced around alone, in my chaotic warm winter layers and pajamas, and went to bed every night with a mug of warm tea and honey.
Anyway, I’m sending all you lovelies with your families, big and small, with your lovers, with whatever company you keep, especially if that company is just you- solo, romantic, fabulous, calm, beautiful, and peaceful you- all the warmth, comfort, and joy this time year. May you continue all the tv and movie binging, routine breaking, no planning days, without a care about what time or day of the week it is.
oh, and Happy Holidays, and a merry New Year.
xxx
Karen Joy