After 12 years of living in New York City I have both witnessed and experienced the greatest love stories and the most painful heartbreaks. I myself have dated, found love, lost love, remained in toxic situationships, and have memories of the greatest nights of my life being reckless for a little romance. But this isn't about me. This is about the energizing, at times debilitating, at times calming, euphoric, and addicting feeling of believing and fighting for our own chance at love and companionship, and how this feeling has tested my dearest friends, who in my earnest opinion are some of the most impressive people and the most eligible candidates for love.
I met Aileen back in 2012. We were both young, 20 something years olds living in the city working retail for PUMA in SoHo. Aileen was the first employee I worked with, and she begun to share her history and what brought her to where she was at that time. This involved past relationships, her art and creativity, family life, pride in being a brown woman and of Puerto Rican descent of the LES, and what she did for love, something I instantly connected with her on. Aileen then brought me along to work for a small French clothing company. It was honestly perfect for me- I was eager, learning my identity and relationship with New York, and the staff of young women (and men) employed were cool, artistic, sexy, intelligent, and all in a place in their lives where they were excited to create their identity as young adults.
Over the years In knowing Aileen I was able to see her growth and journey being a woman “out here” in the city; pursuing love, life, career, and getting to know herself and the world around her. Her poetry available on her instagram - @aileen.nyc, as well her selfies, and honest, raw, romantic perspective on life makes you want to continue to approach all of this life with vivacity, vulnerable, and without apology.
I’m beyond thrilled and grateful that Aileen gave me some of her time and energy to break bread (virtually) and to kick off a series of shining some of my favorite NYers, women, artists, and poets.
KJP: One of the main reasons I’m drawn to your presence on social media, and why I find your poetry to be somewhat of a mirror to women who are lovers, women who are New Yorkers- is because you make honesty and vulnerability romantic. You encourage me and I’m sure other people who get to know you either personally or through your content on social media to pursue life, in all its glory, confusion, lessons, and pain. In a world of influencers and content creators online, how do you remain authentic?
AV: Oh Wow Karen, thank you. I am honored. I’ve always admired you and was drawn to you since we met as cashiers at Puma in 2012. We have always been kindred spirits.
In terms of authenticity online I am guilty of inauthentic posts which have highlighted the good and downplayed the bad in my life. I’ve posted photos of being happy in a relationship meanwhile it was super toxic. I’ve filtered my words many times even though it may seem like I’m always honest and vulnerable. I actually hold back a lot. I’m afraid of being made fun of for being bitter, lonely or desperate. Which I have in the past and it hurt so much. Right now through the evolution of social media it’s expected to have your online presence be strategically planned effortlessly while simultaneously being on brand and generating money. How I keep a sense of authenticity is by not following any of those rules or marketing type formulas... yet. Maybe one day I’ll cave in. You know Tauruses are stubborn. For now I lead a very humble online presence and do things a little backward and opposite from influencers and content creators. I follow a lot more people than I have followers. I also post back to back selfies on the grid which is probably cringe but I do it anyway.
KJP: Care to share your biggest heartbreak?
My biggest heartbreak happened last summer. In July I found out the guy I had been dating since 2017 impregnated another woman. As I did the calculations in my head having found out the due date, I realized the baby was conceived around my birthday, his birthday and our three year anniversary. He and I are both Tauruses. When I think about how during that time in the thick of the first COVID-19 Spring before I found out about the cheating, my ex just acted so normal. Making future plans with me and we spoke every single day. He had moved to Texas from NYC a few months prior and I fully supported his journey, I believe every New Yorker needs to try living outside of NYC. In retrospect I realized we should have broken up but we decided to pursue a long distance relationship. He always reassured me things would be okay even when my intuition told me otherwise. He sent me birthday gifts, anniversary gifts and praises on his Instagram calling me his “partner” meanwhile he was living a double life unbeknownst to me. Man that just about ripped me apart. I’m still not over it honestly.
KJP: Your poem “a city girl through and through” Im assuming is about New York City . When I think great New Yorkers , I think of Carrie Bradshaw, don Draper, AOC, Dinero, Rosie Perez, along others. I would gladly add Aileen velasquez to that list. What is your relationship with the city?
AV: My relationship with New York City is pure, unconditional and empowering. I’m born and raised here and all my major firsts have happened in NYC ! Manhattan, the borough that I grew up in and still live in doesn’t have a lot of street cred but there’s so much culture, style & diversity. I also recognize it wouldn’t be anything without the surrounding Boroughs either. All the hard working people who commute to Manhattan to work and make it what it is, to be nannies, teachers, social workers, fashion designers, hospitality employees, nurses, construction workers etc. All the different people who come from around the entire world to work, live, follow their dreams, seek refuge or fall in love like in the movies. My heart is so full thinking about it.
-KJP: your selfies are a complete, unmatched vibe. I love women who celebrate who they are and find artistic expression in selfies. Frida Kahlo’s commitment to getting to know herself and express herself by painting herself remains one of the greatest and pathfinding contributions from world renowned artists. Your selfies are always posted with a genuine authenticity and thoughtfulness behind them. Do you find selfies to be an art form or cathartic, or is it not that deep deep? Lol
AV: Selfies, yeah I love selfies. They are all those things! They are complex like us. It’s also a way to remind myself I exist, I’m here, I’m cute and I deserve to take up space like everyone else. After these 10 years of taking selfies I’m starting to see how I’m progressively aging all while filters and quality of photos get better. It’s kinda trippy.
KJP: Any advice for a young woman seeking love in the city?
AV: I literally don’t have any advice for young women seeking love in the city. I probably need advice from them! Well I guess my big advice would be don’t get drunk on first dates and sleep with the guy if you are looking for love. If you are looking for sex... still don’t get drunk! Sex is more fun when you can remember it and connect with someone not under the influence.
We live in a very horny time, I really don’t know who’s getting laid like all these popular songs are suggesting. I sure am not, ever since the song WAP came out I have yet to have anyone gobble me or swallow me. But If you ever feel lonely go to a clinic and get an HIV test, those agonizing 15 minutes of waiting for your results will make you realize not having a lot of sex puts you at way less risk for catching any STDs and that’s kinda cool. Also when you are there, take the free condoms cuz sex is fun and maybe you will actually get some soon. Also buy a vibrator they are really cheap now.
KJP: What are your dreams?
AV: My dreams are that my family will be happy and healthy for as long as I live. Also owning a cute little boutique would be amazing. Selling everything from jewelry, books, home goods, hello kitty stationary and Backstreet Boys merch would be ideal. A place where your 12 year old self and 30+ year old self would be in heaven. I mean I guess like an Urban Outfitters except a small business version owned by a Latina. That or be a curvy, 30+ lingerie model one day.
KJP: What was your 2020 like? How’s your 2021?
AV: My 2020 was painful yet liberating, as many breakups from a toxic relationship can be. Everything was flipped on its head as the world is also going through a lot of trauma and liberation. Ignorance is bliss, we live in the Information Age and you have to have a lot of balls to be blissful during a time like this. Covid has turned my fun job of being a bartender into an outdoor dining server who has to be dressed for all the random New York seasonal elements. On another note, I’m battling sobriety. I haven’t been sober for more than three months at a time yet, but I’m trying again.
My 2021 has been such a roller coaster ride. In less than 40 days I went on a trip to Mexico, sobbed in a hot tub after I saw a photo of my ex’s baby that he conceived while he was cheating on me, my credit score went up, my savings went down, I went on a date with a former Trump supporter, blocked him after we made out in his car, went on another date with a guy who told me he was drug dealer after he picked me up in his car. I still hung out with him one time for the lack of my better judgement and pure Covid-19 boredom. I did not make out with him. I realize I do like guys with cars though, which is a pity because looking for parking in Manhattan is a bitch. My Jesus year has been a shit show, turning 34 in April and realize I have a lot of work and soul searching to do.
